and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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