whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
