Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
