Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
