I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
