420 ftw
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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