it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
