You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
