I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
