Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
