his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
