i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Its about making memories worth repressing
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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