Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
