No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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