why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
