I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
