Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
