But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
