Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize