Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
