you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
