OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's like heaven, but drunker
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
