didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
