i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
