Just fell off a train. Bad.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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