dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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