they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize