i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
