I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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