Don't you send me to vm
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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