Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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