absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
