WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
