I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We were destined to go to rehab together
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
