it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize