have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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