kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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