So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
