it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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