How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
