hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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