I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
