My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
