That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
