did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
