just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
