I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
