The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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