I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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