I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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