guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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