She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
