The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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