I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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