So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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