Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
