She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
