u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
