Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
