I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
