Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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