chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
