I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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